Shades of Black
by Anan E Mus
Summary: Ringabel's stomach is in knots as he tries to force his memories back into place. Warning: SPOILERS


Ringabel sat up in his bed and looked at his companions resting in their beds. Tiz had stopped having nightmares so he'd finally been capable of resting comfortably. Agnes was curled up in a ball her knees at her chest the comforter slumped onto the floor. Then there was Edea sprawled across the bed and snoring lightly. Ringabel let a smile cross his face. They'd all stopped in Caldisla to rest and have one last meal made by the Inn Keep before heading to awaken the Earth crystal, again. He shook his head wondering if what they were doing was truly a fruitless task.

Ringabel's eyes fell over Agnes's bag. He got up quietly and scooped it up from its' resting place and felt inside for the draw string pouch. Once his fingers caught hold of it he placed the bag back on the floor. Agnes had been put in charge of keeping track of all the unused asterisks, originally this had been his job but Agnes found his organizational skills 'unacceptable'. He drew back the strings and felt around in the bag, in the darkness it would have been impossible to see the subtle differences in each stone. He'd roll an asterisk into his hand and, without activating it, would feel the skill of the asterisk.

He held one stone firm in his hand and felt strength surge through his body in a fiery sensation, the monk asterisk. He pushed it to the side of the bag to make sure he wouldn't grab it again. He went back to feeling through the stones: his vision grew sharp, the ranger, a calm serenity grew over him, the white mage, he suddenly became sick to his stomach and he quickly dropped the arcanist asterisk, he shook his head and delved into the bag once more, grasping another stone, nothing. No it wasn't that there wasn't anything there this particular asterisk, from the moment they first obtained it, never held any power over him.

He shook his head and put the satchel back in the bag and walked to the balcony window. He pressed his hand against the door and turned back to make sure his actions had not stirred his allies, of course not, they were used to him rummaging about in the night. He unlatched the door and stood out on the balcony. The wind was blowing bringing the smell of the sea up to him. Ringabel let out a long sigh and rolled the asterisk in his hand. After the fall of Alternis, when they obtained the dark knight asterisk, they'd debated on trying out the asterisk. Edea almost always volunteered to be the first to try out a new ability however just holding the asterisk had made her feel uneasy and she had begun to brew on the miseries that had befallen her. The others were the same but when Ringabel had taken it he felt nothing but a weight on his chest and a sudden headache. He wrote it off as his amnesia gave him no memories to feel angry about, or at least that's what he said.

There was no denying that the man Alternis Dim had a few things in common with him, alright, more than a few it was literally like looking in a mirror. He stared at the asterisk for a long time his fingers pressing it against his palm tighter, and tighter, until finally it shattered. His vision went dark for a moment and his heart pounded heavily. He rolled his shoulders and bounced up and down, he'd never been fond of the knight asterisk, while the cape was his style the heavy armor impeded his movement but this, this felt too familiar. He closed his eyes thinking his memories might come back, but nothing. He ran his hands behind his head and removed the helmet. It felt like a habit and that made his stomach sink like lead.

What if Agnes was right? What if he was the dark knight? He stared at the helmet in the darkness, it held no expression but he couldn't help but feel it was looking down at him, calling him weak. Mocking him and his lack of memories. He gripped the helmet tight. And why shouldn't it? He'd been traveling with these friends for so long and what has it gotten him? He was still without his memories, a child left forgotten in a tragically familiar world, he had to be Alternis, he deserved to be him. He tightened up his grip on the helmet and let out a long angry scream. It felt like he'd been holding that in forever as if it had been building up inside of him from the moment he realized he lost his memories.

He blinked, his vision growing blurry, his shoulders started shuddering and he covered his mouth realizing as the scream echoed back at him that it was much too late for such noise. So he just stood there his body trembling with anger and frustration for the first time letting his emotions get the better of him.

"Ringabel?" Even half awake Edea's voice had quite the volume. Ringabel reformed the asterisk in his palm quickly tucking it in his pocket. She stepped onto the balcony the door shutting behind her, " what are you doing?"

"Ah, Edea," he fixed his hair up after it had been sat on by the helmet, "scouting for good date spots of course. The moon seems to reflect just so on that restaurant balcony. A woman with wonderful red hair would-"

"Shut up Ringabel," Edea said groggily. She leaned against the railing looking out to the spot he'd mentioned. He stared at her for a moment, wondering what was on her mind. He wanted to reach over and casually place his hand on hers and then when she would embarrassingly pull her hand away. They'd share an awkward laugh, or she'd slap him, either way he'd be happy just to share a moment with her. As her blonde hair blew in the wind a thought slipped into his head.

"Um, Edea?"

"Yeah Ringabel," she turned facing him. His tongue was caught for a moment he couldn't get any words to come out. He let out a sigh his eyes getting blurry again, he blinked hard willing the tears back. "What's wrong?" She stepped towards him but he stepped back. She knitted her eyebrows together, even confusion was cute on her face.

"You were close with Alternis right?"

She looked away a little shyly, "we grew up together. After my dad took him in we became inseparable and I guess as we grew older," she shook her head and looked stubbornly away. "Why? Do you care?"

"When you saw me, did you," he paused for longer than dramatic suspense allowed, "mistake me for him?"

"Is this about what Agnes said?"

He tensed, Edea seemed to have him pegged, "A little bit I suppose."

She laughed lightly, he knew she didn't mean it cruelly but it hurt nonetheless, "Ringabel you can't be Alternis."

He tensed up, "What do you mean? You saw Edea! We have the same face," he reached into his bag, "the journals everything Edea!"

She was prepared to laugh again but her face softened when she locked eyes with him, "Ringabel… You're really upset aren't you?" He looked down embarrassed and turned back to staring at the barely lit city. She put her hand on his forearm, "you're Ringabel. He's Alternus. Even if you were his clone or something you're still different people."

"Right I suppose there is some comfort in that," Ringabel faked a smile and then held Edea's waist, "come Edea you may join me in my bed." He made a grand gesture with his free hand and when he turned to face her received a slap on his cheek.

"Knock it off Ringabel," Edea said bluntly her face flushed with anger.

Writer's Note: This might be a One Shot. I'll mark it as complete when I decide for sure.


End file.
